I left Makaila sitting on Anette's knee and I started to wonder how much she was missing Lucille. Lucille returned to her native France at Easter and Makaila lost one of her friends, again. Now there are three girls in her group, and even if they mix around we all know three is an odd number. Luckily she has a brother and doesn't think twice about playing with the boys. But boys will be boys, and she says she "hates" cars.
So I asked her and she said, yes, she was missing Lucille........
I took Kieran out to Eija and held him for a while while I talked to her. He had been telling me all morning he wasn't going. He was staying home with me. As we walked out he asked me if Nora was there, I didn't have the heart to tell him she wasn't coming today. I passed him over to Eija and went inside again without any of the dreaded tears. She held him for a moment before he wanted to get down and play.
I stopped on my way past to talk to Eija and we stood watching the boys play. There has been a change to his little group of five with the oldest moving to another group and a younger child coming in. I watched them play and saw how it has changed the dynamics, Kieran no longer has Josef all to himself. Needless to say the language hinders him as does his shy, gentle nature. He stood to the side and watched the other two boys. No wonder he was asking after Nora......
I know I have many of these times ahead. Watching my children in difficult situations, guiding them and waiting for it to pass. It doesn't make it any easier. In time the dynamics will change again, Kieran's Swedish will improve, and tomorrow Nora will be there. The other little boy arrived as I left and I walked away hoping that would improve the dynamics. It is tough being a kid, it is tough being a mum.
I walked to the station, grabbing a paper on my way in and sat on the train reading about the dreaded Engla case. I was saddened last night to hear that they had found her body, it hit home this morning as I read the details.
10 year old Engla went missing last weekend. She was riding her bike home from football training for the first time, her bike was found a street away from her home. Such a short distance, several calls on her phone to her mother along the way, yet, she didn't make it home.
She went missing the day after we had been to see Lova and her 10 year old siblings, less than a week after we had said goodbye to 9 1/2 Ellandi at the airport, an excited Ellandi who will be able to ride to school once they move in May........
The tears welled as I read the news, they flowed as I read Hillevi Wahl's column in Metro. She describes how I feel to a T. Engla's mum was quoted as saying she would not give up until she could bring Engla home, well now she can. What parent is not morning with Engla's parents? The worst that can happen, has happened.
Rest In Peace Engla.
As Hillevi says, no matter how much we want to protect our children, we can never protect them from everything. Not from losing friends, not from group dynamics, and not from unknown danger. Not now, not when they are ten, not ever......
But mum, you already know that now don't you.
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