My baby girl is no more. Makaila turns 7!

This time 7 years ago we were rushing around with a little babe, organising citizenship papers, passports, packing and getting used to the whole idea of having a baby girl. She was just 4 weeks old when we flew to Australia, which was kind of daring of us now that I think about it. But then I tempted fate too when I booked ballet tickets for the day she was due. Haha! What baby is born on their due date?

Mum was here helping me with everything and actually thinking back things were pretty calm. We took everything in our stride. It was close, getting the Australian passport was the closest shave, but they rushed it through for us. The poor kid was born stateless, all three of her citizenships had to be applied for. Neither of us were Swedes at the time so I included her in my application the following year, but applying for her Canadian and Australian ones was fairly straightforward.

So now she is 7, and while her life might be light years apart from what mine was at her age, not just because of the geographical differences, I feel like I know what it is like to be her. I remember being a little girl about her age, I remember the joys, the pains, the fears and hopes for the future. For the first time I look at her and I see myself, I recognise her, I recognise where she is at. It's a weird feeling, but its also a comforting feeling. Somehow we are closer.

Makaila was really excited about turning 7, probably even more so because as a November baby she is one of the last in her class to have a birthday. The intake runs from January to February here so some of the kids will turn 8 in about 6 weeks. I remember that feeling too, February babies in Australia are also towards the end of the intake year.

She was doubly excited because this year she was going to celebrate with her best friend from school, born just two days earlier - and in the same hospital too. We can only wonder if we said "hi" to each other passing in the corridors of the ward... The girls have known each for a few years but they were in different groups at daycare and it is only since they started school that they have become really good friends. They are as different in their personalities as in their appearance but they have found each other, and it is lovely to watch the friendship between these gorgeous girls grow.

It is a tradition in Sweden to wake the birthday child (young and old) up by going into their bedroom singing and carrying a cake with candles on it along with their presents. We haven't followed the tradition to its full extent but we do sing for her and she got to open a couple of presents at the breakfast table.

Then it was time for school where they sang for her and gave her a birthday card. The two girls were later celebrated at the after-school care where they sang, ate cake and gave each of them a present, a little rose quartz stone..

Finally an excited child filled with anticipation came home to the rest of her family presents.

.

Her big present from us was her new bike (thanks to Yvonne and Yvette!!) and she was absolutely thrilled with it - as was her brother who thinks it is just like a motorbike. It has gears on the right handle bar, just like the throttle on a bike, so he is convinced and can't wait for her to grow out of it! I think it is pretty cool that she has a real "Aussie" bike all the way from Melbourne.

She got a book from her bro and a few other bits and pieces from us, packages arrived from Australia from Mormor, as well as her cousin and aunts, and a present from Grandma in Canada.

The day didn't end there, friends knocked at the door to say Happy Birthday and returned again after dinner for a play while the adults got to chat and have a couple of drinks.

The next day was her party where she and her friend were joined by most of the girls from their class. It was a glorious day and the photo of the kids on the trampoline looks surreal after all the gray days in November.

We celebrated with games, present giving, candle-holder decorating and typical Swedish birthday party "cake" - merangue, banana, chocolate sauce and ice-cream. The girls (and a couple of little brothers) had a great afternoon.

We left there in time to come home for a "family" party, with our adopted Swedish families. More celebrations, presents, cake and lots of hugs.

This year's cake was made by her dad. They chose it together, he baked and iced it under her supervision and my guidance. It has become a great birthday tradition with each year being a new design. The kids love looking through the cake books and making their choice as much as the love the finished product. This year the icing was more like cheesecake than in the past and it was pretty good.
The guests enjoyed Ty's freshly baked sour dough too!

I have no doubt that this will be a birthday she will remember, long into her old age. It was an action packed weekend that started Friday night with friends dropping in and ended Sunday night with another friend's birthday party. A fantastic weekend of festivities, fun, friends, food and haha!!, I can't think of any more Fs.

Monday she finally got a chance to get out and ride her bike, and the sun shone in her honor!

My little Makaila with her upturned nose in no longer a baby, a toddler or a little girl, but has grown into a lovely school girl who is a pleasure to spend time with. It is amazing and a joy to watch her grow. She is bright, optimistic and easy-going, stubborn but thoughtful, emotional but rational, both serious and silly. She is a delight - but then I'm her mother right! Haha!, ask me in a couple of years!

Ballet at Stockholm's Royal Opera House

On Saturday evening a friend and I got to experience the sheer joy and wonder of a child going to a ballet for the first time, and in a magnificent building too.

She walked into the entrance of Stockholm's Opera House and said "it's so beautiful!". We sat on a seat waiting for our friend and studied the details in the ceilings, she was fascinated.

Our friend arrived and we took her up to look at the costumes, she was enchanted.

She then bounced into the Gold Room, captivated by its beauty.

The ballet itself, Coppelia, delighted her. And us.

And she was thrilled to see the photo and the write up in the paper the next day, and know that the prima ballerina was none other than fellow-Melbournian Nicole Rhodes.

All in all it was a wonderful way to spoil a little girl, and for us to indulge in living life through a child.

If you are at all tempted, tickets are available from 160 sek, half price for children and youth (up to 26!!). It is a long way between the seats and the stage but can make for a cheap, magical outing.

And intermission in the cafe adds to the excitement and the luxury.

Thank you my dear friend, for a wonderful evening.
From both of us.
xxx

Living Life Through My Kids

I always thought that expression meant pushing your children to pursue your goals, your unfulfilled goals and dreams, but it seems it has a whole different meaning. I've come to realise it is also about meeting people through your children.

It seems that these days most of our socialising is thanks to the kids and the families we have met through school and daycare. Yes, Yvonne you did tell me it would happen, and my apologies to old friends who we haven't seen for a while.....

I chatted on the phone one night last week for an hour, not bad for someone who doesn't like to talk on the phone. And we were only supposed to be arranging to get together. Saturday we spent the evening with another daycare/school family until way too late. Sunday I spent the afternoon in the park with my son, his bestest friend and his mother. Last night I chatted to another friend, a daycare dad, on the phone who was just "checking in" to see how things were with us.


It is fantastic to meet so many wonderful people through the kids, people who just happen to be the parents of children who just happen to be friends with my kids. Very enriching!

Don't do it! Stay at home!

I was at a function on Saturday night where the couple were celebrating their 60th birthdays. The place was filled with their children, their grandchildren, siblings, nieces, nephews, cousins, second cousins, aunts, uncles, family friends and so on and so on.

This is the sort of event that hits you like a ton of bricks. It is the sort of event that make you realise what your life choices have resulted in. These are the sorts of events you miss when you live so far away from home - family get-togethers, cousin's weddings, best friends' 40th birthdays, babies being born, grandparents' funerals, engagements, christenings, wakes, graduations and celebrations of any kind. These events make you feel like you belong, (or that you don't!), they remind you that you come from a long line of people with generations and generations behind (or ahead?) of you, and many more to come. They remind you that life goes on and that you are not alone in the world. They remind you that blood is mostly thicker than water...

Not such a big deal when you are around and "have" to attend yet another family event. But they leave a hole in your life when you are far away from family and lifelong friends.

My advice to young couples, so in love they are prepared to move to the other side of the world? Go home! Stay at home! Marry the girl or the boy next door. You can travel the world together, live somewhere else, and then go home together.

Life is complicated enough, don't make things worse.

Tjejmilen -from zero to ten in six months!

Six months ago I couldn't run a kilometer, three months ago I struggled to run five, yesterday I ran 10.
Words hardly describe the exhilaration I felt as I ran that last kilometer, knowing I could do it, seeing my kids standing on the sidelines waving and cheering and crossing the finishing line with 25 000 other women. It was one of my really proud moments in life. I ran 10 kilometers!

Goals are important to me, and I need to feel the pressure to keep my motivation up so when my friend Rebecca challenged us back in March or April I was fast to take up the challenge - the 5km Vår Ruset in May. While I really enjoyed it I found it a struggle, I wasn't used to running the full 5km so I found it hard going.

Even before the run we started talking about Midnattsloppet and Tjejmilen and I signed up for both - I needed something that would force me to keep running over the summer and something that would force me to go further. It worked. I spent many a morning running along the waterfront when we were at the cottage in Canada.

I was really looking forward to Midnattsloppet, although I was nervous about it too. A couple of days beforehand I found out my friend was not running and I would be going in alone at night, running and coming home alone. The idea of having no friends to run with, no-one to cheer me along and no-one to meet up with afterwards took all the fun out of it and I decided that afternoon not to run. As hard as the decision was the deflation was relieved by the sound of pitter, patter on the windowsill that night. Running in the rain and in the dark would have taken any remaining joy out of it.

The time finally came around for Tjejmilen, a 10km women's run around the beautiful Djurgården. I was looking forward to it and even if I wasn't as fit as I was a couple of weeks ago I knew I could do it.

What started off as a cold, overcast and windy day turned into a beautiful afternoon with the sun shining and a perfect 16 C. Five of us met up a couple of hours beforehand and all travelled to Gärdet to where the run would start.We hung out together, did our warm-up together and then all ran our own race, or walked as was the case for Anastasia (and Molly) who was suffering from slipped disks. The nice thing about this run is that you could do it with a stroller or walking poles which opened up the even to thousands of women.Not everybody loves to be in a crowd. You spend a fair amount of time zig-zagging your way through if you are not in the right category and there is always a chance you will trip over someone else's feet. You might even get stressed running with so many people around you. But I love it. I find it so interesting. Not only did I have beautiful scenery to look out but watching all those around me kept me so distracted I hardly noticed the kilometers passing by. The sport drink and energy tablets helped along the way too, as did my music, the bands, the DJ's, the cheer squad and all the people who turned up to cheer us along! It really makes the event a whole lot of fun!

I'm the slow coach in our team, but only by about 10 minutes so I'm ok with that. Even Anastasia was faster than me and she was walking with her daughter! But these girls really inspire me to run and to keep running, even when I don't feel like it. And nothing gives me a better workout nor makes me feel really good like a run does. Just writing about this is enough to make me want to put my running shoes on, even if my legs are a little tired today.

So what's next? Lidingöloppet for women (10km) perhaps? Or Hässelbyloppet maybe? Now that I have started I don't want to stop, I just need to keep finding the carrots that will be my incentive. I like being fit, being able to run for a bus and not thinking anything of it, being able to run about in the park with my kids without heaving. I love the feeling of saying "I did it", especially to the man that scoffed when I bought running shoes a year ago. I love the feeling of a good workout, I want to be a good role model for my kids and I don't want to go back to where I was just six months ago.

Meeting the challenge is exhilarating!

Make friends with the locals, not the other foreigners

I have 4 friends that I have known for longer than 10 years, not great statistics considering I have been here over 15.... My longest running friendship is with a Swede. We've known each other almost 20 years now. Another is with an American, married to a Dutchman. Then there are a couple of Australians, one married to a Swede, the other is here to be with his son.

The news came a month or so ago that my Aussie friend and her family are moving to England in August. I knew it would come sooner or later. They had already moved back to Australia and come back again, and I knew they would not be here forever. But knowing that does not make it any easier. I will be sad to see her go and will miss her.

Yesterday my American friend broke the news that they are probably moving to New Zealand later in the year. We were kind of tied together, neither having family here and both knowing what an impact it would have on the other if either of us ever left. This is my friend who I can call on in times of need, who picks us up when we are feeling the absence of family, who drove us to the hospital when I went into labour in the middle of the night, whose house I have a key to. My one friend who I can ring at any time and say "help" and know that she will be there for me. My friend who dotes on my children, who has her own special relationship with them, my friend who my children ask after and get so very excited every time she comes by. My friend is leaving...

And all our friends with a Swedish connection are busy this weekend with family stuff. Because blood is thicker than water.

Suddenly Sweden doesn't feel much like home any longer.

10100 Unique Visitors and I almost missed it!

Thanks to my friend Michelle in Australia I realised that I have reached a new blogging milestone - 10 000 unique visitors and another 100 too.I used to get excited about every 100 new visitors and here I am I forgot to keep my eye on it. I've also seen what other bloggers have achieved so 10 000 doesn't seem like such a big deal anymore (!) I'm sitting here chuckling at myself over my ambivalence - shame blogspot does not do smiley faces.

The truth of the matter is that I just want to transfer this damn blog over to www.liveinsweden.se but I still have far too much work to do on the site before I am ready to do that.
What started off as a way of updating the family, my mum in particular, has turned into so much more. I love writing a blog and now realise I should have studied journalism instead of economics - oh well, such is life.

It is also fascinating to watch the stats and see how people behave on the net - seeing what people search for and how that leads to me, or who else out there is linking to me, is nothing short of totally fascinating. It is also interesting to see what links people click on and to see those who come back regularly and never click on any of the links I put up.And it has caught me off guard a couple of times too. I found out last night my sister-in-law must pop in here from time to time, and here I was thinking it wouldn't be of interest now I am not writing as many personal posts about the family. It has also had me in trouble with my mother when the occasional post has led to phone-calls to her. I've often wondered if I should have a "don't quote me and don't ring my mother saying you read it on my blog" disclaimer, just to keep me out of trouble. After all - a blog is personal, it is my way of experiencing the world around me. But a blog also teaches you about accountability, about being conscious of what you communicate and how it can be perceived.

One of the things I really like about blogging is how it has led to other things. It is a great way to develop your writing skills - practise, practise, practise. I have also put thought into the profile we create, who are target audience is, how we attract people and keep them, the balance between personal and general information, privacy issues and what our goals are with a blog. I say WE because I have had many interesting discussions with other bloggers and I find this whole area of modern media so very fascinating. I get to apply all the theories of marketing, and relationship marketing from studies in the years gone by and yet apply them in a different way, in a new world, to a new media. Love it!

Blogging also opens up your world to a range of new people and I can't help but explore blogs in areas that interest me. I have a couple of favorites and like to read the "life in Sweden" blogs, as well as those using their blog as a professional tool.
I encourage anyone who wants to build a profile for professional reasons, or has something they want to say to the world to start blogging and to keep blogging. You will work the rest out as you go along. You can even do a blog writing course! Click on the picture above to have a look at one.

If you don't have it in you to blog - then start a Twitter account - it takes a while to get a feel for what the point is but it is a whole new world and it is here to stay. It is a whole new way of communicating with people, both privately and professionally.

Both my blog and Twitter have, without any doubt, brought me closer to my nearest and dearest. That's the best bit.

Thanks Michelle!

Our Walpurgis Night

For those not familiar with our long weekend it was Walpurgis Night on Thursday night - as always on the 30th of April. As with most festivities in this country it is a pre-Christian tradition celebrated by many around the country and beyond. Walpurgis night is bonfire night!For Swedes of today it signals spring in all its glory. And you only know what that really means after having been here all winter and truely experiencing spring in all its glory. Valborg as we affectionately refer to it is practical almost as much as it is symbolic, as it offers a chance to burn the garden waste after the spring clean-up and pruning of the bushes and trees. It is also a opportunity to bring people together, for local organisations to sell lotto tickets and raise some money and to celebrate the approaching good weather - approaching I say because it is rarely good weather on Valborg. This year was an exception and although it was typically colder on Thursday night it was much milder and clearer than I have ever known it.

Unfortunately Valborg is also a big drinking night for teens and there are usually many incidences of alcohol related problems thanks to others buying alcohol for the under-aged youth.

We had a lovely evening with friends, eating dinner outside(!) with 3 other families before walking to the local fire. As you can see it was a big one and there were a lot of people there. Countless were streaming out and heading home as we approached. Music was playing courtesy of a 3-man band on the stage, people were selling lottery tickets as well as tea, coffee & cake in the little booths. Kids were running about, there were prams, bikes and dogs everywhere.
We hung back for a while before we ventured closer to take a look at the mighty bonfire - each family separating in groups to get as close as possible. After warming up we headed back to find the others and then everything changed. It only took a few seconds. I turned back to say something to Ty and in the meantime Kieran took off and headed back to the fire with the sticks he wanted to throw into it. I was standing at the yellow booths when he disappeared into the crowd. I didn't see him go, I didn't see which direction he went. He just disappeared.

We ran around like mad things looking for him. He was nowhere to be seen. Makaila was beside herself and told me she just wanted to stop and cry - but we had to keep looking. I saw one of the dads we were with and alerted him to get the others to help look and then headed straight for the stage - everything you can imagine flashed before my eyes - it makes me ill to think too much about it even now. They made an announcement and Makaila and I stood and waited, and waited. It seemed like an eternity. It was an entire song. I was just about to tell them to announce again when I saw my friend coming towards me with my son in her arms. Such relief. Makaila grabbed her brother, hugged him and burst into tears. We found Ty who was running about all over the place. We were all so relieved - except Kieran who didn't really understand what all the fuss was about!!

Neither of my kids have been the types to take off so we had never experienced losing them - now we have. It is a dreadful, dreadful feeling and I think it is all these terrible stories in the media that made it as bad as it was...... You automatically go off the deep end and think worse case scenario.We recovered and took Kieran back to the fire, to where he had been mesmerized standing with his dad, and where my friend found him. And he threw his sticks in to burn with all the others. A little later there were fireworks followed by a cold walk back to the house, warm drinks and apple crumble. All is well that ends well.

My advice after this little adventure? Apart from the obvious - don't take your eyes off your kids in a crowd, warm clothes (always advisable in this country) - and bright hats - just in case you do take your eyes off them, even for a split second. Yellow is a great colour for a hat don't you think?

The beautiful Asknäs Gård - now being run by our friends Robert & Sandee

is a gorgeous property out on Ekerö, one of the islands of greater Stockholm, that dates from the 1700s. It includes a pub/cafe, a function room for up to 90 people, a bed & breakfast, rentable cottages, stables, a farm shop, stables, beautiful gardens with old apple trees, a fully functioning asparagus farm and all with a view of Lake Mälaren. It is on oasis close to the heart of Stockholm city.
This year our good friends Robert & Sandee will be running it with their friend Abbe. After last year's roaring success running Kafe Kajak, this season promises to be an exciting one - both for them and their guests! They opened this weekend for the summer season and let's hope this was a warm start to a long hot summer.

So if you are looking for a place to escape, head out to the idylic Asknäs Gård. Take a walk in the gardens, eat great food and explore. There are not many places like this around anymore, not this close to town.

You can also follow their adventure on their Catering Allt blog or on Twitter.

Being Homeless & Finding An Apartment In Stockholm 2

I wrote a couple of days ago about my friend Lynessa. She was interviewed again this week - this time by DN (one of Sweden's 2 national morning papers).

Part of her dilemma came from not passing the income requirements for the apartment she applied for, despite the fact that she saves each month. Her her number in the queue finally came up a couple of weeks ago (after years of waiting) and she was called to look at an apartment, but was number 60 something. This particular apartment was an expensive one so everyone ahead of her said no. She was so thrilled at the opportunity to get a first hand contract and not have to move every year so she said yes. The problem is she didn't pass the income test because she was not permitted to include her child allowance money - yet there is nothing more guaranteed than child allowance in this country. We get it until our kids turn 16 - no matter what! Had she been able to include it she would have been accepted and she would now have her very own rental contract!

It turns out that the huge property company that owns half of the apartments here have changed the regulations and now allow you to calculate in the child allowance - but that doesn't help her. All the same it is amazing, and fantastic that she managed to bring about change!! It might help some other family struggling to find a place to lay their hat for a while.

Here's hoping that soon, very soon her living situation will improve and she too will get the stability in life that so many of us take for granted. I know how relieved she will be to no longer have to look for a new place to live each year.

DN1 and DN2.