Inspiration!

I've been inspired to start writing again, inspired by far-away friends and contemplation of how they might see life in Sweden. Viewing my world through their eyes. My internal voice has broken through the silence and is once again speaking to me. I welcome it back like a dear old friend.

But don't hold your breath. Summer is finally here and it's the end of the school year. There are picnics, parties and graduations. Not to mention a full-time job, independent assignments and a website to continue working on - nor the fact that I need to get back to my 10km runs before the Stockholm Midnight Run and have kids that want nothing but to be outdoors - at the beach, in the park, riding bikes or visiting friends.

But I am inspired, that's the difference.

I miss the writing

The observation, reflection, the contemplation.
If only I could earn my living on it. My way. Now.

2010. And then everything changed.....

One minute I was coming home from a meeting, all pepped, prepared and focused. Ready and excited about what the new year would bring, full of enthusiasm and eager to get started, not start holidays.

The next minute I was throwing together an application for a job that just happened to be brought to my attention and some 12 hours later I was agreeing to the suggested interview time.

Three weeks, a trip away and a whole lot of Christmas celebrations later I started a new job. My first new job in well over a decade, my first 9-5 job since before Makaila was born, and the first time I've been "employed", with a boss and all, in over 5 years. Yet despite the complete turnaround, the 180 degree pivot, it feels incredibly liberating.

I headed off on my first morning with nothing but the basics - no briefcase, no material, no maps or introduction files, no business cards and no preparation what-so-ever. It felt.... strange. Foreign.

It is a luxury. I have an office, that is mine. Mine alone. Not at a client's and not a kitchen table. I work 8 hours a day including a working lunch. An early start. An early finish. Two minutes from school and daycare, 10 minutes from home. A luxury. A job that uses a whole lot of my skills and experience, yet one that I doubt will challenge me all that far beyond my comfort zone. I know. It is early days yet and after 2 whole days at work I'm in the honeymoon phase, but the shoe fits so well.

The environment is international, my work is predominantly in English with my Swedish being an advantage. It requires me to be structured yet creative, organised and orderly yet flexible, social yet focused. It is different yet so very familiar, interesting yet comfortable.

It will be a luxury to be paid a salary once a month, to have a stable workplace, set hours and tasks, someone to tell me what to do. It is weird to have a job and yet be able to walk away from the job, not take it home with me. Never experienced that before. To be able to use my free time any way I choose, to not have to eternally be putting myself out there, thinking about where the next dollar will be coming from. And the best part of all, I will be able to use my creating energy, not selling my services, but building my site. Ahhh the freedom....

For 12 months I will cover someone while they go on study leave. Who knows what will happen along the way. But for now, I've killed my darlings, as the Geek Girls would say. For the next year or so I will have the luxury of a job and all that goes with it, and the time to continue building for the future.

Wow.... what a luxury. What a complete change from what I was expecting for 2010.